Thirty Nine

Havin one of those nights where my heart is uptight
Tried liftin myself with L's but hell's what this feels like
Curiousity's road raging this mind race, I can't sleep right
And my head feels light but thoughts are heavy
Heartbeat's an 808 that's unsteady
On a track where emotions run deep but I aint ready
To take that step.. Ye I know its time I moved on already
But I'm terrified of lettin go even though you're heaven-bound
Still cant leave you, even though I know you're not around
Stand at your grave and I don't know whether to look up down
Cause I know you're watchin over me but you're in the ground
I'll probably spend the whole night mournin, wonder if you'll hear me
They say some angels fly low, I wonder if you're near me
Hope I make it to see those pearly gates when the clouds clear up
To find you sippin heavenly champagne on a sofa with your feet up
In a place where stress is freed up and you don't ever have to re-up
I hope everything's gravy
Cause down here this shit we call life is still fuckin crazy
Shared some words with your lady, she still misses her baby
And I still find it hard to grasp reality, maybe one day I might
Til then, I'm pourin out liquor cuz your life flew by quicker than a red-eye flight
Man I swear this life aint ref'd right, so much foul play under the baskets
Got too many tears, fears and peers when it comes to caskets
I'm scared to think where the soul goes, more afraid to ask it
All that fear in my reflection, I'm tryin my hardest I mask it
Because walkin around like I'm frightened won't get me far
And I got a long way to go, a lot to prove to get where you are